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As the prophet of trash, Britney Spears, sang “Don’t you know that you’re toxic, and I love what you do, don’t you know that you’re toxic.” You’ve been sleeping with Captain Morgan, having torrid affairs with Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo, and God only knows how many times you swapped spit with Johnnie Walker and both Glens! You know how to make your mom proud! Forget partying like a rock star, you could teach them a few tricks. But, it’s time to get out of bed, scrape off your tongue and join reality. You need detox: bad!
Hard weekends reap horror on more than your aching head and reeling belly. What gave you so much pleasure, now has you looking as haggard as Keith Richards! Your skin needs purifying. Dermalogica’s Skin Hydrating Booster will be your saviour. Its super saturation will have your parched skin looking like a 20 year old groupie’s instead of a weathered rocker’s. Well, until you fall back into your evil ways.
So now you are taking a few nights at home to recover, and you damn well should. At least until the rumours of your behaviour die down a bit. Staying in to take care of your internally decomposing body means no stilettos and skin tight jeans. You have the perfect excuse to wear nothing but your underwear and a “boy beater.” The Baby Thermal Shorts from American Apparel are not only crazy comfy but pretty damn sexy. Just ask last night’s pizza boy.
So now you’ve taken care of the outside, it’s time to look inside. No, I’m not talking about some inner reflection, save that for your shrink. Your insides are as black as my heart. You need to clean that shit out: fast! Gaia Garden has a miraculous three week detoxifying/cleansing kit. It cleans out your liver (or what’s left of it), blood and all that other important stuff that keeps us going. Be prepared to feel the wrath of your weekend for the first little bit, you’ll feel brand new soon enough. Trust us; have we lied to you, yet?
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Betty